The Epistle of St.(?) Sextus
or the Flower of the Sixth
Here beginneth the 200th chapter of St.(?) Sextus by the common populus______
| Verse 1. | This year the female population of the " remnant " of last year's 5th has been invaded by a stranger of the opposite sex, an outcast who has flown into our eager arms from the depths of a place called Hollins County Secondary School, or so we are informed. |
| Verse 2. | Our habitat is the Biology Lab! or "Cookie's Little Paradise" where we are surrounded by charts, dissected rats and various other impedimenta, which the Science Mob (and what a mob!) claim to understand. |
| Verse 3. | The "good shepherd" of us, the "chosen few," is Mr. Cooke, who recently has been over-brimming with witticisms, not just witticisms, brethren, but criticisms (not the church sort, that's catechisms) and we are the unfortunate sufferers. Occasionally he has the (dis)pleasure of seeing ALL our smiling faces at registration. |
| Verse 4. | Among us we claim to hold 17 membership cards of four school societies (yes, we know that's three and two-fifths cards per person). |
| Verse 5. | Two very (dare we say it ?) energetic female members profess to be members of the gallant, if not always victorious, hockey team, but they're trying - very trying! What would the hockey team do without them? - probably win! |
| Verse 6. | One of our females acts as the form tithe collector but as we don't believe in paying these forms of punishment, she often finds that she hasn't even got enough for her collection on Sunday morning (not that she ever puts any in!). As our pen and paper is running out we must finish in a hurry! Valete, Amici! |
Here endeth the epistle.
CHAD.
Ode to a Chemy. Lab. and a
Boon to Literature
6 Sc. Form Report
The lower sixth this year shows a decrease in numbers of 60%. 50% of this form are females - of which 33.3333% have been taken to hospital suffering grievous self-inflicted wounds.
An Outsider has also been to the Oldham Royal after sustaining serious injuries while participating in highly dangerous experiments, i.e. severe bromine burns - only to be met at hospital with the question "What is bromine?" After giving instructions for his treatment, the victim was allowed to leave.
This year's sixth prides itself on its mathematical prowess. Several of the upper sixth have been busy of late removing "L" plates from cars. Needless to say they have been busily removing other items besides "L" plates. But back to the subject!
One " illustrious " member actually claims 90 m.p.h. from a Morris Minor - This claim is overshadowed only by two other claims from people entering "O" level for the fourth time.
The Trinitrophenols.