Form VIA Lit. Report
(With sincere apologies to John Keats).
Gentle Reader,
Now to my humble muse falls the annual report of Bacchus and his six Ariadnes of the "Lit Lot Swots."
Our Hippocrene is now the library where, under the sympathetic eye of our literary mentor we gather each day to begin :
| "The weariness, the fever and the fret Here, where men sit and hear each other groan." |
The only drawback of our 'level chambers' (and this is but a seldom occurrence) is our proximity to the Dorian rhapsodising of the girls' choir, but then :
| "The hall door shuts and all the noise is gone." |
On the whole our thirst for truth is unquenchable, and we harken profoundly to the sagacities of our guides :
| "Slow stepped and robed in philosophic gown." |
Only seldom are we :
| "Deaf to his throbbing throat's long, long melodious moan." |
when in a torment of mental indigestion, most acute do we cry :
| "O for a life of sensations rather than of thoughts." |
J. BROOKS.
Form 6B Lit. Report
Present in the precincts of this famous school is a group of pupils living with the title of 6B.Lit. Should any members of this group be wanted, they can be found either in the school library or in the den of iniquity. The school library houses the more intellectual members, all of whom suffer from inferiority complexes brought about by the constant presence of long-dead authors whose works adorn the shelves. However, this group is a minority. Most of our members dwell in the depths of armchairs in the cellars.
This subterranean refuge has been called "the Common-room" and "common" is the word. It is quite apparent that we are herded into the depths of the building "pro bono publico" and not for our benefits. This insalubrious cellar is the home of mis-fits and malcontents, all airing their grievances of scholarly hardships. Anyone not "au fait" with our presence down those steps might think that a gang of saboteurs had arrived, using language normally associated with anarchists.
But the populace of the school knows us too well for that. They leave us to our orgies of crime, giving us as wide a berth as possible.
Generally speaking, though, talk in the "Common-room" is about Watersheddings, the decline of the 'Latics, and the degeneration of the United. Ours is not an intellectual body, although some high marks were recorded in recent examinations and, in fact, some people achieved passes in the G.C.E. Our energies, both mental and physical are conducted into sporting channels, regardless of Chaucer, Shakespeare and Shaw, and consequently we are a happy family, bar those whose recent exodus from the "Common-room" caused a stir in our democratic minds. We all hope this will not be "casus belli." We remain, therefore, secluded from the rest of the school, participating only rarely, and then retireing to the depths to argue about topics of paramount importance such as the team for Saturday's match.
We are proud to have in our midst a vigilante committee, whose purpose at the moment is rather vague, and its powers even more so. However, we wish them the best of luck in their object, whatever it may be, and hope for speedy results, whatever they may be. Possibly these members are to help those non compos mentis. We fervently hope so, for their numbers are increasing. Perhaps I may be able to tell you of their success in the successor to this magnum opus next year.
EDITOR PRINCEPS.
Form 6 Sc. Report
The legend you are about to read is true and only the facts have been altered to protect the guilty.
Once again that den of ill-repute, the prefects' common-room has been besieged by hordes of backward children, who are now known as 6B.Sc. Most of these creatures are of the male species, but two are actually female. However, only the most scrutinising eye of a Leslie Kershaw could recognise this fact when everyone is wrapped in a heavy lab. coat. It's no use looking for long hair; some of the lower sixth boys have got longer hair than the girls.
All last year's Upper Sixth have left and each has pursued his respective career.
Contrary to rumours at the end of last year of the impending arrival of a new laboratory the same dilapidated one still remains, in spite of attempts by that eminent chemist from the wrong side of the Pennines, and his colleagues to blow it up. Poor Mr. Kent, downstairs in the Physics Lab., is never quite sure when we will be dropping in on him.
However, the chemistry laboratory still remains the only form room in the school where, by a process of complicated mathematics, two plus two can be made to give five (or is it three ?).
Here we conclude our annual exposee of the rather dubious activities of the "Science Shower" and can only hope that anything we have said will not be used in evidence against us.
THE SILLYCATES.