- FORM REPORTS
VI Lit. Form Report
It's here! - No, I do not mean the library book thrown at Mill ward by Lamb - the illiterate genius (sorry, literary genius) - in one of his brighter moments, but the report of those interesting and hard-working (did you say something, Mr. Pendlebury?) characters who "hang out" in a "dive" just behind the map of Central Europe and a chart showing "Table Manners for Vegetarians." I do hope the English Teachers will excuse my using the word "dive" but it just sums it up and besides the junior forms will know by now that we learn other languages besides French and German.
We few, we happy few, are held together by a gentleman who is probably Britain's answer to Homer and who every now and again demands a sum of money called, I think, the charity shilling, which the boys have never heard of and the girls never pay.
It felt very strange having to return to school to do something which we had never done before, namely - WORK, but after all, look at our poor comrades who have left and are now earning their coppers as reporters, office boys, solicitors, caterers, hairdressers, and the one luckless girl who wanted to enter a zoo.
The girls in the sixth year are kept in order by one nameless damsel who is descended from Boadicea but who I feel sure should have been chosen as the Empress Theodora. This CHARMING young lady is very highly educated - convent-bred, definitely convent - but unfortunately she thinks that "getting hep" is the common name for a disease of the Hepatic Portal Vein.
The boys are kept in rather more lenient ranks by Greenhill's answer to Robert Mitchum.
I think as this is our report we ought to thank Mr. Higson for allowing us (or should I say last year's sixth) to transform the boys' former dressing room into a cosy (hem) homely (h-em, h-em) peace-loving (he-e-e-em) discussion room. (There are no minutes to these discussions - but your guess is as good as mine).
When we returned to school, and managed to see the hall after being momentarily blinded, we found the upper hall and classrooms had been decorated in "restful" and "imaginative" colour schemes; the only trouble is you need plenty of imagination even to find out the restful aspect of the colours.
The only way to distinguish between the "literary lot" and the "scientific mob" is by the amount of work they do. If you see "a bod" walking about the school reading a dictionary then he's a "lit. lad", but if he flies from school dinners, not to bathe his fevered brow but to do his "chemmy prac", then he's a scientist.
Now I must close this account of the activities of the sixth form, but remember one thing, fellow pupils. We do try not to be too hard on you.
C. LAMB, VI.Gen.
La Creme of the Sixth
On that fateful day early in September, 1956, we, the remnants of the "Seekers After Truth", gathered together in great anticipation. A large reinforcement soon arrived and our leader gave a sermon, the first of many. Let us recall some of the previous year's happenings.
A noteworthy event was the initiation of the "Prefects' Common Room", which we condescended to share with the "Lit. Lot", their presence adding to the significance of the name. During the Easter Holidays certain enthusiasts came to school to help with the alterations to this room.
At the beginning of the summer term faces began to look anxious. The prospect of exams loomed ahead. The older and wiser members of our little community settled down to their preparation immediately, the rest following their lead, and soon shadowed eyes and stubbly beards became noticeable. However, the storm passed, the examiners were satisfied, and the morale of "LA CREME" returned to its normal high standard. We should like to record here that one of our number, Gerald Carr, has proceeded to the Faculty of Medicine, Manchester. We wish him every success. Before we push last term into the past let us mention certain incidents which cannot be forgotten : A certain language master asked when translating a thesis from that language to English : "Dehydrated water perhaps ?" Another stated : "The resistance of Selium increases in the dark". A certain proof always brings amusement : "Let b lines of force pass through the magnet. These b lines ....."
This term we returned to find that the upper hall and classrooms had been decorated in the contemporary rainbow fashion! However, the laboratories were as grim as ever and on our first switching on of the lights a bulb exploded.
This year's sixth is the largest for some time which can be disadvantageous during practical periods. Imagine six or seven poisonous gases, each with its own powerful odour, being prepared at the same time and only one fume cupboard in operation! Well, at least, it keeps the "Lit. Lot" away.
One of the new recruits, we mention no names, decided to make a certain gas, could not stop the reaction, and had to collect twenty gas jars of the gas.
Such is life with "LA CREME".
THE HALOGENS, VI.Sc.