Form Report: 5Z
During the past two years our form has gradually dwindled to eleven members, all boys. This enables us to discuss each member individually.
Bottomley's main interests lie in the direction of photography and cinematography, whilst Challinor is a keen cyclist, being Secretary of Saddleworth Border Road Racing Club. Football is Cooper's interest, and as full-back for the School against the Old Boys, played an outstanding game.
Curley is a veritable mine of information, and can advise on all topics, whereas Fawcett's accomplishment will be in wielding the willow this season, keeping the out-fielders very busy. Foden knows more about bridges than we shall ever cross.
Hutchison holds an important position at the Hartford Youth Centre, representing them in games and other activities. Though Lang may never reach Wimbledon, his skill at tennis has increased considerably since he joined Lees Spa Tennis Club. One of the fastest-moving members of the school is Scholes, who represented the town in the county games held at Blackpool, and representing the town at Rugby Football, Smith proved to be a robust and skilful hooker.
Finally, we come to Wolstencroft, who leads an outdoor life, and may be seen in all weathers beside the banks of local rivers.
These are but a few of the attainments of 5Z, whose academic ability needs no stressing, and whose sporting accomplishments are easily assessed by the fact that we have more players on school teams than any other form, despite our small numbers.
ALAN BOTTOMLEY.
Ye Report of ye Olde Sixth Forme
Come ye that thinketh of the sixth forme as a number of uninteresting folkes who have decided to further their education and thus befit themselves for the Cruelle Outside World. Let us tiptoe gently down the passage from the Staffe Entrance. (All ye who are not on the Staffe or who are not Honorary Members of the Sixth Forme, go outside again and round to your own doors!). Look not to left nor to right as ye go through the doors at the far end of the passage and ye will miss it. There to the right, almost in the region of No Woman's Land, is THE room.
We enter by just touching the door gently. It flieth open - the catch is faulty (due, no doubt to the efforts of one Honorary Member who flingeth the door wide open at each entrance, giveth an exhausted sigh and then slammeth the door behind him - regardless of who may be coming in behind him - and strideth to his table, a giant in form). Looking round the room we may observe the square box-like arrangements in the left-hand corner. They look as if they may hold mice (did I see some of the Science Sixth exchange guilty glances?) but no - they merely contain the books which are left when the tables, shelves, window sills and cupboard tops will stand no more weight. - (NOTE. - I find it necessary here to explain that the Forme is split into two main divisions - besides the other two of Labour and Conservative - namely, that Section Which Worketh in the Library and that Section Which Messeth About in the Laboratories).
Back to the Room. Here it is that one must he careful when one sitteth down for in this green and blue room one may easily become black and blue if one sitteth down and one's chair hath been spirited away! Here it is also that the wind bloweth holes in the windows and that one may hear all the sounds of nature, from a cat fight, from birds (for there are trees at the bottom of our garden!), from two men using drills discussing the latest football match or trying to imitate Johnny Ray. Sometimes, also, the wind wafteth the sounds of childhood to this peaceful spot ("Hey, Mavis, give Ronnie 'is chewin' gum back! Ye've 'ad it fer ten minutes now!"). Occasionally one may enter to find oneself back in the Good Olde Days. A crowd standeth tense nearby while two swordsmen with grim faces (and rulers - did someone say "Foiled again"?) stand at the ready. One sayeth "On guard!" and what reply cometh from the other? "O.K., Plum, but mind my thumb this time!" Or if one is lucky, one may see a bull fight. But fear not, Mr. Caretaker! The Honorary Members have not become so drastic yet as to bring a bull into the Booke Shoppe. No, take but a closer look and ye will perchance recognise the gleaming eyes and tousled mane of El Toro. Aye, 'tis but the same Honorary Member that fenceth, using the implements with which he fighteth for horns.
Let us think back to some special events which occurred last term :
1. A "fair one" was tied to a chair during the Auction Sale.
2. An early start to Spring Cleaning was made by a few Members by removing everything from the tables during the Auction Sale.
3. The sale of a certain Wall's product decreased from the year before—perhaps because the buyer hath now left?
4. Every free period now, everyone is fighting to do his homework. In the Fifth Form everyone just fought in free periods !
And finally, 5. Last term came to a "ripping" end by someone's coat becoming caught in the door. By accident? Hardly! Remember the mice I mentioned earlier? Well, the Science Sixth made a smell peculiar to Mickey's friends and they made a too liberal (dare I use that word before the Scientists?) use of it.
However, I, and I suppose ye, are now exhausted by our travelling, so I will end - but just a few words of advice - Be not too hasty in forming your judgment on the Sixth Forme - you may be in it yourself one day!
J. WILD, VI Lit.