Sheer Lunacy
Charles Khrushcher, who is trying to walk from Dover to Calais via the Mersey Tunnel was arrested by the Gestapo at St. Ives yesterday. The event is said to be in connection with Irish terrorist activities which caused a heat-wave in the Arctic. N.B. - Mafeking has been relieved!
A scientist claims to have invented a liquid called "Urrrup," which will dissolve anything except artificial whale blubber. However, since the only way to make artificial whale blubber is to boil "Urrrup," the scientist says his invention is useless.
A "Hold Your Own Tribunal" kit is now on sale for children from five to two years old. It includes two model journalists, six nasty newspaper comments, an unknown peer which is related to Lady Dorothy, a spy, an article by Dame Rebecca West, which calls him a liar, traitor and brave young man, a non-Communist who is really a Communist and who does not have to queue for three nights to get ballet tickets and a source of information. N.B. - Kitchener needs you!
I hear that Dr. Beeching is in the pay of a Chinese Tsarina who is buying all disused railway lines and trains in order to make steel matches.
The Taj Mahal Gun-Runners - Part 1½.
Slim Fatso, the bow-legged radio masher, had just crawled through the letter-box of the contemptuous four-story bungalow of Colonel Fungus Adolf Macrommel. The sound of the woodworm singing the Death March told our dog-eared friend that the house was silent. He climbed the lift shaft and turning his five eyes saw————————.
Part 9 is to be found in the left-handed copy of Homer's Oddity, Book 11, which has not yet been written.
The Governor of the Bank of Oldham, Form 5L (or somewhere like that).
If you wish to contact me, telephone my cat who will put you through to the Young Conservative Society of Moscow.
P.S. Neither I nor my cat has a telephone.