School Cabinet Re-shuffle, 1961
Prime Minister and First Lord of the Charity Fund: Mr. T. Higson.
Head of the War Department: Mr. F. S. K. Sedgely.
Minister of Labour and Penal Servitude: Mr. G. Wright.
Minister of Agriculture, Fisheries and Food: Mr. Petford.
Minister for Myths: Mr. Thompson.
Colonial Secretary: Mr. Lennox-Bickerstaffe.
Burnham Committee: Messrs. Fogg and Halliwell.
Minister for the Berlin Business: Mr. Martin.
Minister of Pensions and National Insurance: Mr. Livesey.
Our man in Strinesdale: Mr. Tempest.
Madam Usher of the Iron Rod: Mrs. Kuler.
Minister for Bulk Transport: Mr. Handforth.
Minister for Biscuits: Miss Turner.
Minister for "whitewashing" Government Blunders: Mr. Cartmel.
Minister for Water Supply: Mr. Wells.
Parliamentary Secretary: Mrs. Lees.
Bring Back the Birch Supporters: Too numerous to mention.
This Cabinet was formed by Mr. Anderton.
Edward Lees, Gary Shaw, 5 Sc.
The Epistle of 6A (incorporating the fabulous 6SI)
Owing to several catastrophes, i.e. the departure of the T.N.T's. and the fact that no-one volunteered to describe the various activities of the Sixth, it was left to us to produce this gem of wisdom.
This year's Upper Sixth consists of the usual collection of self-styled scientists who occupy, as usual, that room of mystery and intrigue the Chemistry Lab. We breathe in those exotic, sleep-inducing fumes as we fight once more the long-lost battle of knowledge under the eagle eye, and floppy hair, of our Lord and Master, Professor Tempest.
Last year's Lower Sixth have had their strength increased this year by their union with the fabulous 6S-1, and also by the arrival of the wonder of De la Salle College. So the conglomeration of scientific(?) persons in the highest form of the school now numbers eleven, consisting of three members of the fabulous 6S-1 and eight from the minor form 6A. Of this number, two are females, whose sole purpose in life seems to be performing the transportation of the register between the Office and Mr. Tempest's desk. However, they inform us they are present for the general beautification of the scene, but on this count they are outvoted by 9 votes to 2. On the male side of the form, we have that colossus of strength, "Weed" Jackson, and his associate in crime, "Tiny" Sam, who, together with "You're never alone with a cigarette" Rodgers and "Girls, glorious Girls" Walton, form the notable part of the form.
So now we close with those immortal words "God save England from the hands of her future scientists".
Anonymous and Anonymous (or should it be Anonymii?)